Right now it is 1.12 am and I and also maybe some people can not go to sleep like normal people, just to pursue their dream. I still wake this late because I need to finish my college assignments, I need to get good grades, I need to study, I need to get good GPA, I need that GPA to finish my study on time, I need that GPA to join my campus high-achiever student, Mawapres, Mahasiswa Berprestasi. I am so (I don’t like its word). I join the volunteer activity, I join my campus press organization, I join model united nations organization and even I search money by tutoring junior high school student. I join all of these crazy things just to build a good CV. I need it to get good job with high salary so that I can support my family well. I am the older, I want my bro and sis get good education. I need to be mature right now, I am 19. I have to study. I have to learn. There are so many things I need to do, I am not allowed to waste my time on trivial things. I have to be serious to reach my dreams.
It’s hard. It’s so tiring. It doesn’t mean that I did not enjoy it, but you know what, it’s just too much. I can’t let the opportunities go, since this is my last chance, I am in 3rd semester. I just can regret for I did nothing in my 1st and 2nd semester. I worked at that time. I let so many opportunities flew.

Yah. That’s life. I need to be mature. And even right now I can not believe in love anymore. My love always failed although I was never tried it before. Just to remember, I am woman, my task is only to give signal and dress well. But he is never attracted to me. I cannot believe it anymore, since I acknowledge and accept the fact that my face is not really pretty, my body is not really tall. I am not really confidence, I am not really smart, my strength is only I want to learn and study.

Here I want to criticize, why the assignments are so many? I just can not understand, it's hard and really time consuming, meanwhile actually we need to study more important and real things. All of the theories are just so hard to be understand.

 -ELT Curriculum: Powerpoint presentation about chapter 1, 2, and 3 based on the books and make our own syllabus
-TEFL: Journal, and Summary of 300pages book, we need to write in handwriting of course approximately 100pages
-B.Indonesia: Essay
-ELT Multimedia: HotPot and WPM project, it is totally hard
-Academic Reading: Powerpoint presentation  

Just to remember, here in this hot city, I lived with my younger brother, it is just the same I lived alone. My parents are elsewhere work to keep survive. They just couldn't back here because they were expelled by my grandma, and now they couldn't back here also because there is no job for not-have-diploma-people like my parents. And my father is really sick.