Thursday, December 14

Right now I am reading a book. Not exactly a book, but we can called that a handout. This morning at 7 am I have Bahasa Indonesia course exam. Alhamdulillah. I read it carefully and yah try my best to remember all of things that I have read. 

I am also starting to planning my 2018. It will be a great year for me. Aamiin. I will for the first time, travel abroad, travel to several cities in Indonesia because of prestigious competetition. Amiin. I will read more books and so many stuffs I want it to be done. 

After read this handout, while I am also blogging in here wkwkw. I am going to do my duty to Allah and then I will continue to write my UGRAD 2017 essay. Bismillah :)

Today's to do list:
1. Poetry Email
2. UGRAD 2017 Essays
3. AIESEC Global Leader Essays
4. YSEALI Sea Camp Bohol
5. TEFL Journal, Table, Summary, and Lesson Plan
6. ELT Multimeda Project
7. ELT Curriculum, Syllabus Course, PowerPoint, Summary

So many stuffs ._."

Bismillah, I know I just an average human, I believe Allah will always help me to do those things. Aamiin.
I just can say that today is a big success to me. Being able to sleep early the night before and waking up at 2.50 am are really amazing for me. It is always be my goals in life. Sleep enough and early and then wake up early too, so I will not miss subuh and tahajud prayers. Alhamdulillah, I hope it can be my new habit.

Right now, I am in the third semester, this crazy semester will end soon. Alhamdulillah again. I am highly optimistic I can survive since I am going to be super focused on all those crazy assignments.

Honestly, this year, I think my blog is not really productive especially for the months before. I am really ..... I hate that word tho. As an introverted-person I am more like to stay in my comfort bedroom, watching or reading something nice, and write something nice too. But, I admit if I spoiled myself like that it will be hard for me then to improve my life skills. Life is complicated and though. I need to learn more and stay outside my comfort zone if I really want to achieve my dreams.

Wednesday, November 29

Saya rela habis kuota karena tidak sabar menunggu besok. Jadinya saya habisin eps 16 drama JungSoMin. Ini kedua kalinya saya nonton dramanya, dan daebak. JungSoMin itu aktress korea favorit saya. Dia benar2 selalu sukses membawa karakternya.

Drama ini benar2 relatable. I really like it. Dan sekarang bingung mau nonton apa. Saya tidak bisa tidak nonton sekarang. Sejak nonton itu bisa membuat otak saya tetap sehat dan normal.

Tuesday, November 28

Alhamdulillah. This life should be much appreciated. Right now, I really have a lot of work. Too many. God. No complaint.

Tonight I had decided to not go to sleep. I'll stay until tomorrow. I'll do my work for maybe 8 hours long. I hope my body can endure. I already spoiled myself before, just after college lecture done, I watched Because This is My First Life ep15 and Running Man ep378. Tonight I will do my assignments, writing my journal, writing my short story, writing my scholarship essay, writing my speaking presentation plan. Hmm :/

Alhamdulillah. Hidup ini harus banyak disyukuri. Sekarang. Kerjaan saya banyak. Banget. YaAllah. No complaint.

Malam ini saya memutuskan tidak tidur. I'll stay until tomorrow. Semoga badan ini kuat. Saya sudah memanjakan diri saya sepulang kuliah tadi dengan nonton eps 15 because this is my first life dan running man eps 378. Saya pulang kuliah jam 2 siang, dan sekarang jam 10 malam. Sudah cukup rasanya 8 jam saya relax, sedikit merelease stress saya. Malam ini saya akan mengerjakan journal saya, essay beasiswa, dan draft cerita lomba. Bismillah. Good luck for myself.

Karena saya mahasiswa b. Inggris, nasihat dosen saya untuk practice writing. Saya tulis 2 bahasa okay.

Monday, November 27

I woke up so suddenly at 3.00 am and then did my assignments. It was after I cried heavily last night. Like a child right? I was in a deep sadness and sorrow just by looking at the photos in facebook. I failed again and again. I was not selected to join an amazing program. And now I started to doubt myself, am I a failure? I was so embarassed to get failures again. I was so sad. I cried heavily and contemplated, 2017 gave me so much tears. I failed in so many programs that I dreamed of.

Maybe it was because I always looked up and less in grateful. Life is long, Ky. I managed to soothe myself since I had no one to calm me down. I cried alone. I felt really lonely. I was too embarassed to share this story to anyone even to my dear friend, “There’s a side which you never wish to show others… no matter how close you are with them. Sometimes, your family can be the least close people to you. When I decided to follow my dream, I thought my life would be like walking through a dark tunnel. But I didn’t know it was going to be… this dark. I didn’t know it was going to be this lonely.” – Yoon Ji Ho, Because This is My First Life. And I agree with that quotes. And I had only Allah for now, my God, to share and to complain all of my sadness and sorrow.

Life is long. Move on. You failed, you cried, and nothing will happen, you can't change anything. Because of this, I look like lose my confidence, lose myself. By the way they looked at me, it really hurt me, it killed me inside, it made me felt bad, and I was wondering, were there something wrong with me? Everyday likes hell, I had a hard time in there. I was loosing myself, I was not like my old me, who was a cheerful girl. But, am I overreact or thinking negatively?

I must move on. Life goes on, with or without me. Right now, I just want to be relax after got this pain. I have my parents that I want to make them proud and happy. I have my siblings that I want to support.

Life is long. One door closes, anothers open. Keep the spirit, Ky. Study and pray more. 

Wednesday, November 22

I did not ever predict, this semester will be this hard and crazy. I am really getting depressed this semester. Actually I think it's better for me to complaint it here since there will be no one read this trivial post. It's better rather than I complaint and throw all of my resentments to my friends. They were the same with me. We really got depressed with academic pressures. We did not even get the chance to join any organizations, we were just busy with our crazy assignments. It got worse than the first and second semester. And since it is my blog, I did not care with grammar mistake since I am still studying English. I tried my best to write gramatically here. But, pardon me if there was so many mistakes.

Right now it is already 10pm. I stuck in here in cafe close to my house. I heard so many dangdut songs in here. I came here to drink orange juice while did my assignments. This semester was really hard for me, I started to think that I am really stupid and did not know anything now. I was even really free than last semester. I am not working anymore. I just taught 2 students, I got stress a lot at a new place. It was totally stressful since they were treating me so bad. I don't know why I chose to stay, while they were so mean to me. It's just time I think I will get really angry with them. They don't know how can I become when they were treating me like that, I underlined one name that so demeaning me. I will prove someday. I will work hard. I can not accept your mistreat while my parents are really loving me. Who are you? How dare you? Let's see until when I can hold myself.

There were tons of assignments every WEEK. Let me list my assignments in here:

1. TEFL, Learning Activities based on Syllabus, Journal, Table, Summary.
2. ELT Curriculum, Semester Program.
3. ELT Multimedia, Webpage Project.
4. SPEAKING. Persuasive Speech, Presentation+Recording.
5. LISTENING. Summary from Video.
6. ACADEMIC READING. Presentation Paper
7. INTRO TO LITERATURE. Presentation Note.
8. BAHASA INDONESIA. Presentation.
9. POETRY. Practice
10. ISBD. Alhamdulillah nothing:)

Saturday, November 18

It is 12.30 now. And I am here waiting for my turn to get judgement about my poetry reading performance. I am quite nervous since I do not so into talking in front of ao many people. But it is challenging tho. It forces me step out my comfort zone.

I really really regret today that I mispredict. I predict today's examination will not take that long time. It's already 4 hours of exam. Hmm. I could spend that 4 hours to do my assignments. Hell! I hate my foolishness. I should take the time wisely and steal the time.

Tuesday, November 7

Right now it is 1.12 am and I and also maybe some people can not go to sleep like normal people, just to pursue their dream. I still wake this late because I need to finish my college assignments, I need to get good grades, I need to study, I need to get good GPA, I need that GPA to finish my study on time, I need that GPA to join my campus high-achiever student, Mawapres, Mahasiswa Berprestasi. I am so (I don’t like its word). I join the volunteer activity, I join my campus press organization, I join model united nations organization and even I search money by tutoring junior high school student. I join all of these crazy things just to build a good CV. I need it to get good job with high salary so that I can support my family well. I am the older, I want my bro and sis get good education. I need to be mature right now, I am 19. I have to study. I have to learn. There are so many things I need to do, I am not allowed to waste my time on trivial things. I have to be serious to reach my dreams.
It’s hard. It’s so tiring. It doesn’t mean that I did not enjoy it, but you know what, it’s just too much. I can’t let the opportunities go, since this is my last chance, I am in 3rd semester. I just can regret for I did nothing in my 1st and 2nd semester. I worked at that time. I let so many opportunities flew.
Yah. That’s life. I need to be mature. And even right now I can not believe in love anymore. My love always failed although I was never tried it before. Just to remember, I am woman, my task is only to give signal and dress well. But he is never attracted to me. I cannot believe it anymore, since I acknowledge and accept the fact that my face is not really pretty, my body is not really tall. I am not really confidence, I am not really smart, my strength is only I want to learn and study.

Here I want to criticize, why the assignments are so many? I just can not understand, it's hard and really time consuming, meanwhile actually we need to study more important and real things. All of the theories are just so hard to be understand.

 -ELT Curriculum: Powerpoint presentation about chapter 1, 2, and 3 based on the books and make our own syllabus
-TEFL: Journal, and Summary of 300pages book, we need to write in handwriting of course approximately 100pages
-B.Indonesia: Essay
-ELT Multimedia: HotPot and WPM project, it is totally hard
-Academic Reading: Powerpoint presentation  

Just to remember, here in this hot city, I lived with my younger brother, it is just the same I lived alone. My parents are elsewhere work to keep survive. They just couldn't back here because they were expelled by my grandma, and now they couldn't back here also because there is no job for not-have-diploma-people like my parents. And my father is really sick.

Friday, October 27

Introspection is very important in life. I need to study how to correct myself. Should be tolerant with what other people say and think about ourselves.

Alhamdulillah it is blessed Friday. It is rain now after a long time rain did not come. I just wanted to cry if I saw my diary and notes. Written in there, how sad and depressed I am. Being alone, being ostracized, and being hated in a new place. Strong and believe in Allah are the only way that make me stand. Cause I should not give up. It is just not me. How hard it is, I will survive, cause I believe with my own intention and Allah never sleeps. Allah will always help me, forgive me, guide me and blessed me. I believe it.

This 2 months are hard for me. However, I ever felt the more hard situations than this.

Alhamdulillah again, slowly, I tried my best. I smile and approach more. I pray more. Let's see the result. Because I believe this place is very good to spread positive things to society.

Tuesday, October 10

Sekarang sudah memasuki minggu pertama bulan Oktober. Baru menyadari kalau bulan September kemarin kurang produktif. Tau sendiri lah kan, bulan September itu, bulan pertama masuk kuliah ditambah lagi. Bulan September kemarin itu sangat stressful. Kondisi saya penuh tekanan karena bulan pertama juga saya volunteer, saya itu sangat susah beradaptasi, dan itu benar-benar makan waktu buat saya untuk benar-benar merasa nyaman di lingkungan baru. Alhamdulillah, Allah memberikan kesempatan ini pada saya. Ini kesempatan yang sangat saya syukuri sepanjang hidup saya, namun tentu banyak sekali karunia Allah yang benar benar luar biasa. Allah benar benar maha penyayang dan pengasih.

Hari ini saya merasa luar biasa bahagia. Apa mungkin karena efek kopi? Saya mulai dari Senin kemarin mulai rutin minum kopi sehabis sarapan di pagi hari. Itu benar-benar ngefek ke saya karena itu membuat badan saya terasa fit sepanjang hari, dan fokus, saya merasa bahagia, dan juga saya tidak mengantuk selama perkuliahan, badan saya benar-benar nyaman.

Fisik benar-benar sangat berpengaruh kepada psikis. Jujur saya, mood saya benar-benar sangat fluktuatif. Bulan yang penuh tugas, dan stressful itu, saya benar benar gelisah, cemas, anxious dan segala hal negatif itu benar-benar mengepung saya. Saya merasa sangat depresi, karena saya juga memasuki lingkungan yang baru. Tugas kuliah benar-benar sangat banyak, dan butuh kerja keras. Justru semakin sulit dan banyak tugas itu, saya sendiri merasa cukup senang dan bahagia, saya merasa semakin tertantang untuk menyelesaikan semua itu.

Adaptasi, lingkungan baru, orang-orang baru, dan belum tentu semua orang di lingkungan itu menyukai kita. Saya volunteer baru, dan masih nggak tau apa-apa.

Tuesday, September 12

Stop Genosida Muslim Rohingya.

Rohingya merupakan kelompok etnis muslim asli yang menetap di wilayah Arakan sejak abad XVI. Wilayah tersebut saat ini menjadi bagian dari Negara Bagian Rakhine, wilayah Myanmar Barat yang berbatasan langsung dengan Bangladesh. Istilah Rohingya sendiri berasal dari kata Rohai atau Roshangee yang berarti penduduk muslim Rohang atau Roshang (sebutan untuk daerah tersebut sebelum dinamai Arakan).

Sejak sebelum kemerdekaan Myanmar, etnis Rohingya telah berkali-kali berusaha disingkirkan dari wilayahnya. Pada tahun 2012, muncul gerakan Rohingya Elimination Group yang didalangi oleh kelompok ekstremis 969. Konflik yang pecah memakan 200 jiwa dan 140.000 warga Rohingya lainnya dipaksa tinggal di kamp-kamp konsentrasi yang tidak manusiawi. Menurut sebuah studi oleh International State Crime Initiative (ISCI) dari Queen Mary University of London, Rohingya sudah mulai memasuki tahap akhir genosida yaitu pemusnahan massal dan penghilangan dari sejarah. PBB juga menyebut Rohingya sebagai kelompok etnis paling teraniaya di dunia.



Saat ini Muslim Rohingya yang masih berada di Rakhine hidup terisolasi dalam ketakutan. Sejak tahun 2013 lalu, ribuan warga melarikan diri ke negara-negara Indonesia, Malaysia, dan Thailand melalui jalur laut. Pria, wanita, dan anak-anak terkatung-katung di dalam kapal tanpa kejelasan apakah daratan yang mereka tuju bersedia menerima mereka. Salah satu pengungsian warga Rohingya di Indonesia dibangun oleh Yayasan Aksi Cepat Tanggap berlokasi di Blang Adoe, Aceh Utara.

Saatnya kita bergandengan tangan untuk menyelamatkan mereka.  Let's Help Rohingya merupakan seruan dari Aksi Cepat Tanggap kepada semua pihak yang peduli kemanusiaan.

Untuk mulai donasi, kunjungi situs dibawah. Caranya sangat mudah dan cepat. Ayo mulai peduli. Berbagi untuk meringankan beban dan kesedihan mereka. 

Saya share dari website:

Saya belajar dan menyadari sesuatu. Semua hal yang saya kejar dan impian saya yang duniawi itu melelahkan. Kini saya memilih lebih relax saja namun tidak lupa berusaha dan berdoa serta tawakal.

Saya orang yang jika gagal maka sedihnya lumayan lama. Apa yang mau disedihkan? Toh sudahlah, evaluasi diri. Diri ini masih perlu banyak belajar. Saya lelah dengan segala hal duniawi ini. Kini saya belajar untuk mengikhlaskan dan meniatkan semua hal yang saya lakukan sampai berjam2 dan kelelahan seperti ini untuk bisa bermanfaat untuk orang banyak. Saya niatkan pahala dari Allah, saya ingin beramal dan melakukan dan memberikan sesuatu yang bermanfaat untuk lingkungan. Bismillah. Semangat ya.

Monday, September 4

Sudah dengar berita pengusiran dan penyiksaan pembunuhan kaum rohingya di Myanmar? Saya terpukul sekali mendengarnya. Saya tidak tau apa yang bisa saya lakukan selain berdoa. YaAllah bukakanlah pintu hati orang2 itu, YaAllah, selamatkan mereka.

Dunia ini sungguh banyak masalah. Terutama masalah kemanusiaan dan perdamaian. Perang dan Penindasan adalah yang paling menakutkan. Saya hanya seorang mahasiswi 19 tahun, saya masih harus banyak belajar supaya bisa ikut andil menolong mereka suatu saat nanti. Kasihan banget ngeliat mereka ditindas secara tidak manusiawi gitu.   Saya ingin melakukan sesuatu, saya ingin menolong mereka. Namun saya belum bisa, dan saya bukan siapa2. Hanya bisa menulis post ini dan berdoa.

Ini sungguh kejam dan biadab. Bagaimana bisa "ethnic cleansing?". It is totally crazy.

Friday, September 1

Welcome September. New month means new hope. Bulan saat kuliah akan dimulai juga, setelah 2bulan setengah liburan. Dan hari ini special juga, Selamat Idul Adha ~ eid mubarak.

2017 tinggal 3 bulan aja. Nggak nyangka juga udah semester 3. Tetap semangat untuk terus belajar dan memperbaiki diri.

Bulan ini mau lebih banyak belajar, bersyukur dan beramal. Bismillah dan Semangat!

Thursday, August 31

Bulan ini bulan yang pilu. Bulan ini gue dirampok. Gue gagal ikut camp. Gue gagal ikut kegiatan volunteer. Dan sederet kegagalan yang lainnya. Daripada berprasangka lebih baik gue introspeksi, mungkin ini azab Allah untuk mengingatkan gue kembali ke jalan yang benar.

Gue memilih untuk tawakal dan terus belajar memperbaiki diri ya meski hati ini hancur terluka dan sedih. Bahkan sempat gue mikir Allah benci sama gue. Tapi itu gak mungkin kan karena Allah itu maha penyayang.

Tawakal (Arab: توكُل‎‎) atau tawakkul berarti mewakilkan atau menyerahkan. Dalam agama Islam, tawakal berarti berserah diri sepenuhnya kepada Allah dalam menghadapi atau menunggu hasil suatu pekerjaan, atau menanti akibat dari suatu keadaan.

Sekarang lebih memilih selow dan keep learning aja.

{وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مَخْرَجًا. وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ، وَمَنْ يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ}
Barangsiapa yang bertakwa kepada Allah niscaya Dia akan memberikan baginya jalan ke luar (bagi semua urusannya). Dan memberinya rezki dari arah yang tidada disangka-sangkanya. Dan barangsiapa yang bertawakal kepada Allah niscaya Allah akan mencukupkan (segala keperluan)nya” (QS ath-Thalaaq:2-3).


Wednesday, August 30

Sekarang udah hampir jam 12. Saya baru menyesali hari-hari saya bermalas2an di kasur, hari saya tidak melakukan apa apa, hanya duduk bosan merenungi hidup dan tidak melakukan apapun. Padahal banyak sekali hal yang harus dikerjakan. Saya hutang review buku film dan drama. Banyak sekali sudah buku film dan drama yang saya baca dan tonton ujung2nya menjadi sia-sia karena setelah nonton atau baca tidak di review saya jadi lupa dengan isi buku atau film tersebut.

Sekarang waktunya beristirahat. Masih ada hari esok untuk terus belajar dan memperbaiki diri menjadi lebih baik dan lebih bermanfaat untuk orang lain.

Oh ya Btw, alhamdulillah ini hari ketiga saya jadi Volunteer American Corner kampus saya. Alhamdulillah. Dreams come true. So far so good. Meskipun pada awalnya seperti biasa sifat minder dan overthinking serta negative thinking saya muncul. Ya, harus diakui saya memang terkadang suka sekali merasa, apalah saya ini, hanya butiran debu diantara yang lainnya. Padahal kita tidak boleh begitu ya kan? Setiap orang punya kelebihan dan kekurangannya masing-masing. Begitu juga saya. Saya harus belajar untuk lebih mencintai dan menghargai diri sendiri. Karena kita harus belajar mencintai dan menghargai diri sendiri dahulu baru lah kita bisa menghargai dan mencintai orang lain dengan baik.

Ini hari ketiga saya di Amcor Untan. Saya benar2 bersyukur. Dan, saya ketemu teman saya saat SMA. Kami 3 tahun bersama sama di kelas yang selalu sama. X PMS 3, XI MIA 3 dan XII MIA 4. Saya tidak sungkan menegurnya, merasa dekat meski ya tidak terlalu gimana dekat. Saya senang bertemu dengannya. Begitupun dia. Dia sangat shock melihat saya. Saat saya menegur dia terkejut karena tidak ingat/kurang mengenali saya, hal itu karena dia bilang matanya rabun alias minus dan juga saya overwhelming banget hari ini. Tau gak dia bilang apa ke saya? "Kok makin cantik sih?" What? Saya nggak salah denger? YaAllah finally ada orang yang membesarkan hati saya. Pujian itu begitu hangat, karena saya sadar diri saya jelek, dan ketika ada seseorang yang memuji kita dengan tulus? Saya terharu dan tersentuh dengan pujiannya yang hangat itu.

Dia juga ramah sekali pada saya dan selalu tersenyum. Tidak sedikitpun dia merendahkan saya. Saya merasa benar2 bahagia. Yah semudah itu saya bahagia. Saya bahagia dengan hal-hal yang kecil dan sangat mensyukurinya.

Tapi sebenarnya saya juga mau cerita soal kemarin. Saya tau saya bukan siapa-siapa dan apalah saya ini, cuma mahasiswi pemimpi biasa yang terus belajar. Saya tau kakak ini lumayan lama, karena pernah ikut sharing session. Jujur aja saya kagum sama kakak ini, tapi karena insiden kemarin, hati saya hancur parah. Saya pergi ke suatu tempat bersama sahabat saya dan bertemu dengan dia. Dia tahu saya adalah volunteer baru, saya merasa sedih dengan reaksi dia, dia begitu memandang rendah saya. Saya tersenyum padanya, eh dia malah bilang "Ihhh. Kenapa senyum-senyum?" Entah saya yang sensitive atau gimana, senyum saya langsung pudar. Astaghfirullah. Saya tersinggung dengan perkataannya.

Di hari kedua itu, saya murung sepanjang hari. Di siang hari saya mendapat ejekan rese kakak2 itu, di pagi hari saya mendapat hal buruk itu lagi. Saya memperkenalkan diri tentunya sebagai volunteer baru. Beliau adalah pokoknya orang lama disitu. Dia ngeliat saya dengan tatapan yang merendahkan, saya agak sedih, "Dapat darimana ini anak?" What? Saya kecewa dengan orang yang suka merendahkan orang lain. Emang kalian siapa coba? Nggak memikirkan hati si manusia yang kalian anggap rendah? Sombongnya ampun-ampunan. Memang sekarang saya belum jadi apa-apa, kalaupun someday saya jadi seseorang, saya nggak akan merendahkan orang yang baru belajar. Karena dia yang belum jadi apa-apa pasti dia sedang belajar untuk memperbaiki dirinya dan meningkatkan kualitasnya.

Panjang banget curhatan saya. Yaudalah segitu aja dulu,

Saturday, August 26

Hari ini alhamdulillah join sesuatu yang berfaedah banget. Ditambah lagi saya ketemu someone yang saya sukai banget sejak SMA, apakah ini jodoh? #haha abaikan ini. Back to topic ya. Sebenarnya saya mau ngevlog ala ala youtubers kece gitu, tapi apalah daya, nggak pede abis dan merasa malu gitu. Dan enek juga ngeliat kamera, pipi masih tembem gitu, haduh kapan tirus yaAllah. #Abaikan juga yang ini.

So here we are.

Btw ini foto perjuangan banget. Beberapa kali take pipi tembemnya naujubillah, pokoknya jelek abis. Haha nemu angel tepat plus nebal2in muka karena entah kenapa saya merasa sedikit malu pas selfie gitu (?)

Di foto ini saya kelihatan serius + smart gitu. Sumpah workshopnya kece abis soalnya nggak terasa gitu berjam-jam, mungkin karena sesuai minat mungkin ya.
Suasana workshop sangat menyenangkan. Kakaknya pro banget, saya suka pas dia ngeliat karya jelek saya, dia sama sekali nggak sinis gitu, dia komen tapi komennya ya pro gitu nggak langsung judge dan bikin orang down. Thumbs up pokoknya. Di foto itu lagi2 angelnya bagus dan pas aja. Muka saya kelihatan bright haha.

Salah satu abang ngejelasin tentang ornamen dalam handlettering. Kece abis. Dia senior saya dulu, terakhir ketemu 2 tahun lalu. Woow ya, berasa tua saya.

Ini hasil karya pertama saya. Absurd dan hancur parah. Benar2 beginner sampe baru tau kalo di dunia lettering itu ada 3 font dsar, serif, san serif sama script gitu. Keliatan bego gak sih, kayak belajar nulis dulu pas sd, cuman bedanya kita belajar nebelin, ngerangkai dan nyeni gitulah. 

Endingnya foto bareng dungs. Mam tersayang saya datang, Mam Ella, dan saya speechless akhirnya dream comes true gitu, saya ditawarin jadi volunteer gitu. Tapi tiba tiba saya rendah diri lagi, bisa gak ya saya. Hmm. Dan mulai negative, overthinking lagi. Santai aja kali. Kamu bisa Ky. Fighting!

Sat. Aug 26, 2017.

Friday, August 25

Hi. Assalamualaikum. Lama banget ya nggak nyentuh blog ini, hal ini sendiri dikarenakan blog kesayangan saya ini saya jadikan sebagai project mata kuliah ICT. Alias blog ini akan dinilai sama dosen favorit saya, bapak Zainal Arifin. Istilahnya sih jaga image gitu, daripada feeds penuh sampah emosi saya. Haha.

Kembali ke topik hari ini saya takjub gitu. Jujur aja saya suka banget dengan gitasav, istilahnya terinspirasi banget sama dia. Cantik, cerdas, sukses dan dicintai banyak orang. Panutan saya. Saya iseng mau tau dong gimana kehidupan dia perjalanan dia sampai bisa sefamous dan sesukses itu. Dari semua karyanya saya suka semuanya, itu menggambarkan kecerdasan dan kekreatifitasan dia. Satu kata buat gitasav, eonni daebak!

Jadilah saya stalking, alhamdulillah stalking sedikit memperbaiki mood saya yang buruk banget 2 bulanan ini alias liburan ini. Dan saya nemu postingan blog dia yang berbahasa jerman, iseng saya pengen copy dan translate dan ingin tau dia nulis apa gitu. Walhasil nggak bisa dicopy. Keren banget. Akhirnya saya nerapin itu juga ke blog saya dan berhasil. Keren banget. Ya semoga postingan ini berfaedah dan bermanfaat la ya.

Caranya benar2 mudah kok. Cukup edit template, search kode dan masukkan kode. Untuk lebih jelasnya tertera di link sumber ya. Check it out.

Tutorial lengkap agar konten blog tidak di copas. 

Sekian. See you next time dalam postingan berfaedah ya. Bye :)

Wednesday, July 5

Ini sudah akhir semester 2. Sedang di bulan Ramadhan penuh berkah. Jujur saya mengalami dilema berat. Pilihan antara tetap bekerja atau ikut organisasi. Impian saya dalam hidup itu sendiri ialah, masih absurd dan gak jelas. Meski ya rata2 sama seperti orang2 kebanyakan sih. Saya pengen jadi orang yang berguna untuk banyak orang, pengen masuk surga dan bahagia dunia akhirat, pengen membahagiakan ortu, dan pengen yang lainnya. Saya jujur aja, saya cukup ambisius orangnya. Saya punya mimpi, saya punya target, dan saya akan berusaha keras untuk itu. Saya nggak terlalu peduli hasil, yang nentuin selanjutnya Allah, saya pantes atau nggak. Jadi kegagalan2 selama ini, meski sedikit sakit hati, tapi saya bawa santai.
Balik ke topik. Saya sebenarnya happy2 aja kerja. Gak ada masalah berarti. Masalah paling dari waktu aja yang terbatas. 

Wednesday, June 7

Assalamualaikum everyone. At this time I would like to share to you a great article from the expert about how to use ICT.
It’s no secret that technology has become more central in our everyday lives than ever before. It helps us in every aspect of our lives, from health and fitness to creativity and social communication. As we discussed, an estimated 22 million students are benefiting from the online distance learning industry, which is worth around $70 billion (£45 billion). But how can students benefit from today’s technological advancements in the four skill areas to make their learning as well rounded as possible? Find out below.


With the rise of iPads, tablets and e-readers like the Kindle, we’ve come accustomed to a more interactive reading experience, which is a wonderful feature for English learners. Functions like click-to-define, vocabulary builders, and downloading whole texts at the touch of a button are all beneficial to a learner looking for a fun and effective way to improve their reading and writing in particular. It can help to expand your vocabulary and expose you to different sentence structures: start by reading our pick of nine great novels to improve your English.


One of the most well-known technological advancements for writing is the unassuming word processor. Simple tools such as a dictionary and a thesaurus help writers expand their vocabulary, while spelling- and grammar-checkers are helpful to find and correct errors. Moving forward to the internet age and online forums are a widely used channel for learners to communicate and learn from one another using the written word. This is also a great alternative for those who don’t have the opportunity to converse with a native speaker face to face.


They began as simple audio on a cassette tape and today’s audiobooks have taken over the literary world. As we found in our global survey of 6,000 English language learners, 44% of respondents said speaking was the most difficult aspect of learning English. When it comes to improving both comprehension and speaking skills, extensive listening is highly recommended. Listening to and reading text at the same time is a great way to start and Kindle’s Whispersync for Voice technology is designed for just this purpose. It includes audio with selected books, so you can listen and follow the text as you read.
Podcasts are also becoming more popular with English learners, with the ability to listen anytime, anywhere, and English language podcasts are a great way to improve your listening skills. Here are some popular podcasts to try: Listen to English by Peter Carter, Elementary Podcasts by the British Council and Luke’s English Podcast.


Giving learners the advantage of communicating in real-time conversations with English speakers, probably the most exciting (and futuristic) technological advancement has come in the form of Skype and FaceTime. Tools such as video-conferencing also offer teachers the opportunity to link to other classes around the world, also gaining support from other teachers and students.
There are many new apps on the market for speaking with other learners, such as CoffeeStrap and HelloTalk – meaning you can converse with native speakers right from your phone. No webcam required anymore!
These technological advancements can help you advance in your English learning; you just need to take advantage of them and they’re right at your fingertips.

Tuesday, June 6

UNESCO - its country and regional offices as well as institutes ––in collaboration with its partners, develops resources that can help countries elaborate effective ICTs in education policies, strategies and activities. This includes ensuring that strategies meet the challenges caused by the digital divide and the most disadvantaged populations.

Its programme includes:
  • Capacity building and policy advice for the use of technologies in education, particularly in emerging domains such as mobile learning
  • Ensuring that teachers have the skills necessary to use ICTs in all aspects of their professional practice  through tools such as the  ICT Competency Framework for Teachers (ICT CFT)
  • Supporting the use and development of multilingual educational resources and software which are available for use and re-use as a result of open licenses (open educational resources – OER; free and open source software – FOSS)
  • Promoting ICTs for inclusive education, including for persons with disabilities and gender equality
  • Collecting statistics and developing indicators on the use of ICTs in education
  • Providing policy support to ensure that the potential of ICTs are harnessed effectively throughout the education system.
The UNESCO Institute for Information Technologies in Education (IITE), based in Moscow, specializes in information exchange, research and training on the integration of ICTs in education.
UNESCO’s Bangkok office is notably involved in ICTs for Education in Asia and the Pacific.
UNESCO works with the educational community worldwide – Ministries of Education, specialised institutions, teachers, and of course learners - to effectively leverage the potential of ICTs in order to benefit quality teaching and learning.

Vid source:

Monday, June 5

E-learning is a very important thing these days. It really crucial for the education and maybe for country's development too. However, Indonesia is still lack of it. Education in Indonesia is facing some major problems related to access and quality. Only about half of the eligible children are enrolled in school at the junior secondary level and only one-third at the senior secondary level. Regarding quality, large proportions of students fail to meet the cutoff scores in various subjects at all levels in school completion examinations. ICT is viewed as a potential contributor to solutions for these problems. In terms of government policy for ICT, Telematika which refers to the utilization of ICT in various sectors and aspects of life, was established based on a presidential decree, and Telematika Pendidikan (utilization of ICT in education) has been developed, and a five-year action plan was implemented in the years 2001 to 2005. The success of Telematika depends on the availability of appropriate infrastructure. Currently, Indonesia has 8 million Internet users (about 3% of the population); other statistics show that the ICT infrastructure is less extensive compared with neighboring countries such as Singapore, Malaysia, and Thailand. In addition, Internet access costs are still prohibitive in Indonesia. The implementation of E-Learning in Indonesian education can be viewed as a supplement, a complement, or a substitute for the traditional teaching-learning process. To date some subjects of the senior secondary school and vocational school curriculum have been developed in the form of E-Learning as a substitute for face-to-face instruction. In the near future this will be expanded to some subjects of the junior secondary school curriculum. At the tertiary education level, there are some universities that have implemented E-Learning, especially as a supplement for their regular teaching-learning process. In regard to extending access into schools, the Ministry of National Education has been piloting Open Senior Secondary School in seven districts of six provinces by implementing E-Learning.


Sunday, June 4

Hi everyone! Assalamualaikum. Today I will share to you about the characteristics of 21st century teacher, how right now and future teachers should be like. 

Recent technological advances have affected many areas of our lives: the way we communicate, collaborate, learn, and, of course, teach. Along with that, those advances necessitated an expansion of our vocabulary, producing definitions such as digital natives, digital immigrants, and, the topic of this post -- "21st-century teacher."
As I am writing this post, I am trying to recall if I ever had heard phrases such as "20th-century teacher" or "19th-century teacher." Quick Google search reassures me that there is no such word combination. Changing the "20th" to "21st" brings different results: a 21st-century school, 21st-century education, 21st-century teacher, 21st-century skills -- all there! I then searched for Twitter hashtags and Amazon books, and the results were just the same; nothing for the "20th-century teacher" while a lot for the "21st": #teacher21, #21stcenturyskills, #21stCTeaching and no books with titles #containing "20th century" while quite a few on the 21st-century teaching and learning.
Obviously, teaching in the 21-century is an altogether different phenomenon; never before could learning be happening the way it is now -- everywhere, all the time, on any possible topic, supporting any possible learning style or preference. But what does being a 21st-century teacher really mean?
Below are 15 characteristics of a 21st-century teacher:
1. Learner-Centered Classroom and Personalized Instructions
As students have access to any information possible, there certainly is no need to "spoon-feed" the knowledge or teach "one-size fits all" content. As students have different personalities, goals, and needs, offering personalized instructions is not just possible but also desirable. When students are allowed to make their own choices, they own their learning, increase intrinsic motivation, and put in more effort -- an ideal recipe for better learning outcomes!
2. Students as Producers
Today's students have the latest and greatest tools, yet, the usage in many cases barely goes beyond communicating with family and friends via chat, text, or calls. Even though students are now viewed as digital natives, many are far from producing any digital content. While they do own expensive devices with capabilities to produce blogs, infographics, books, how-to videos, and tutorials, just to name a few, in many classes, they are still asked to turn those devices off and work with handouts and worksheets. Sadly, often times these papers are simply thrown away once graded. Many students don't even want to do them, let alone keep or return them later. When given a chance, students can produce beautiful and creative blogs, movies, or digital stories that they feel proud of and share with others.
3. Learn New Technologies
In order to be able to offer students choices, having one's own hands-on experience and expertise will be useful. Since technology keeps developing, learning a tool once and for all is not a option. The good news is that new technologies are new for the novice and and experienced teachers alike, so everyone can jump in at any time! I used a short-term subscription to, which has many resources for learning new technologies.
4. Go Global
Today's tools make it possible to learn about other countries and people first hand. Of course, textbooks are still sufficient, yet, there is nothing like learning languages, cultures, and communication skills from actually talking to people from other parts of the world.
It's a shame that with all the tools available, we still learn about other cultures, people, and events from the media. Teaching students how to use the tools in their hands to "visit" any corner of this planet will hopefully make us more knowledgable and sympathetic.
5. Be Smart and Use Smart Phones
Once again -- when students are encouraged to view their devices as valuable tools that support knowledge (rather than distractions), they start using them as such. I remember my first years of teaching when I would not allow cell phones in class and I'd try to explain every new vocabulary word or answer any question myself -- something I would not even think of doing today!
I have learned that different students have different needs when it comes to help with new vocabulary or questions; therefore, there is no need to waste time and explain something that perhaps only one or two students would benefit from. Instead, teaching students to be independent and know how to find answers they need makes the class a different environment!
I have seen positive changes ever since I started viewing students' devices as useful aid. In fact, sometimes I even respond by saying "I don't know -- use Google and tell us all!" What a difference in their reactions and outcomes!
6. Blog
I have written on the importance of both student and teacher blogging. Even my beginners of English could see the value of writing for real audience and establishing their digital presence. To blog or not to blog should not be a question any more!
7. Go Digital
Another important attribute is to go paperless -- organizing teaching resources and activities on one's own website and integrating technology bring students learning experience to a different level. Sharing links and offering digital discussions as opposed to a constant paper flow allows students to access and share class resources in a more organized fashion.
8. Collaborate
Technology allows collaboration between teachers & students. Creating digital resources, presentations, and projects together with other educators and students will make classroom activities resemble the real world. Collaboration should go beyond sharing documents via e-mail or creating PowerPoint presentations. Many great ideas never go beyond a conversation or paper copy, which is a great loss! Collaboration globally can change our entire experience!
9. Use Twitter Chat
Participating in Twitter chat is the cheapest and most efficient way to organize one's own PD, share research and ideas, and stay current with issues and updates in the field. We can grow professionally and expand our knowledge as there is a great conversation happening every day, and going to conferences is no longer the only way to meet others and build professional learning networks.
10. Connect
Connect with like-minded individuals. Again, today's tools allow us to connect anyone, anywhere, anytime. Have a question for an expert or colleague? Simply connect via social media: follow, join, ask, or tell!
11. Project-Based Learning
As today's students have an access to authentic resources on the web, experts anywhere in the world, and peers learning the same subject somewhere else, teaching with textbooks is very "20th-century" (when the previously listed option were not available). Today's students should develop their own driving questions, conduct their research, contact experts, and create final projects to share all using devices already in their hands. All they need from their teacher is guidance!
12. Build Your Positive Digital Footprint
It might sound obvious, but it is for today's teachers to model how to appropriately use social media, how to produce and publish valuable content, and how to create sharable resources. Even though it's true that teachers are people, and they want to use social media and post their pictures and thoughts, we cannot ask our students not to do inappropriate things online if we ourselves do it. Maintaining professional behavior both in class and online will help build positive digital footprint and model appropriate actions for students.
13. Code
While this one might sound complicated, coding is nothing but today's literacy. As a pencil or pen were "the tools" of the 20th-century, making it impossible to picture a teacher not capable to operate with it, today's teacher must be able to operate with today's pen and pencil, i.e., computers. Coding is very interesting to learn -- the feeling of writing a page with HTML is amazing! Even though I have ways to go, just like in every other field, a step at a time can take go a long way. Again, is a great resource to start with!
14. Innovate
I invite you to expand your teaching toolbox and try new ways you have not tried before, such as teaching with social media or replacing textbooks with web resources. Not for the sake of tools but for the sake of students!
Ever since I started using TED talks and my own activities based on those videos, my students have been giving a very different feedback. They love it! They love using Facebook for class discussions and announcements. They appreciate novelty -- not the new tools, but the new, more productive and interesting ways of using them.
15. Keep Learning
As new ways and new technology keep emerging, learning and adapting is essential. The good news is: it's fun, and even 20 min a day will take you a long way!

Saturday, May 27

Alhamdulillah. Ini hari pertama umat muslim berpuasa. Namun saya tidak menyambut karena biasalah, hal perempuan. Saya benar2 bahagia akan kedatangan bulan penuh berkah ini.

Dari Abu Hurairah radhiyallahu ‘anhu, Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda,

أتاكم رمضان شهر مبارك. فرض الله عز وجل عليكم صيامه، تفتح فيه أبواب السماء، وتغلق فيه أبواب الجحيم، وتغلّ فيه مردة الشياطين، لله فيه ليلة خير من ألف شهر، من حرم خيرها فقد حرم

Telah datang kepada kalian ramadhan, bulan yang penuh berkah. Allah wajibkan kepada kalian puasa di bulan ini. Di bulan ini, akan dibukakan pintu-pintu langit, dan ditutup pintu-pintu neraka, serta setan-setan nakal akan dibelenggu. Demi Allah, di bulan ini terdapat satu malam yang lebih baik dari pada 1000 bulan. Siapa yang terhalangi untuk mendulang banyak pahala di malam itu, berarti dia terhalangi mendapatkan kebaikan. (HR. Ahmad, Nasai 2106, dan dishahihkan Syuaib al-Arnauth).


Thursday, May 25

Hi. Assalamualaikum. Today I'm gonna share to you about using ICT to improve your English.
To be honest, I can't imagine how's life without ICT. Actually it's really hard for me to buy new books to learn, as you know, it is so expensive. It's better for me to use the money to dress well or eat well than to buy books. It's better for me to buy e-book which it is more cheap than books although not comfortable as book. But, in this days ICT really helps us to overcome the money lackness. Wkwkkw. So, here I want to share to you how to use ICT to improve your English.
Before study or learn, firstly, we need to know or concern about our learning style and our goals of study. It's so important because it can make us eager and get motivate to study.
English has 4 aspects. The first is speaking, continued by listening, reading and writing. Here I share to you what I do to acquire all that things using ICT.
1. For speaking, the most difficult aspect, I prefer to use English app like Hello English, you can download it on PlayStore or maybe for IPhone user AppStore. It can make us connect to other English learner. I also like to make English vlog and record myself. What I speak is only what happen to me today, or what I've been thinking or feeling, or whatever. I'm using my phone camera, then practice to speak English. Just speak.
2. For listening, it is very precious advice from my lecturer, Mr. Ikhsanuddin. It is to listen. Just listen to the native speaker. Listen to any English video. Listen from. YouTube. There are so many great sources to listen in YT. Every day, continuously and carefully. I do it almost one year, and amazing now my listening skill is really not bad. Wkwkkw.
3. For reading, the aspect that most of Indonesian really hate to do even me. Wkwkwkkw. Like right now, my assignments are so damn crazy and many. I don't even have any time to read. My mood is really bad because that crazy assignments. My tip for do reading is use e-book or wattpad for fictional book.
4. For writing, the other difficult aspect. What do you need to do is to write. Just write. Practice it everyday. Practice makes perfect. I'm usually use social media to publish my writing and my lecturer usually correct it if I was making mistake. Not only social media but also blog. Use your blog. Don't forget to read book or material about how to write better. You will notice your mistakes on the old or previous posts. Maybe you will laugh of your old or previous posts.
I think that's all. Thanks for your attention. Thank for visiting my blog. I hope this is useful and beneficial. See you on my next study tips. Don't forget to follow this blog. Bye! Wassalamualaikum :)

Source: My mind and my knowledge
Made by me.

Today I just want to give thanks to ICT. ICT really helps me educate myself. Without it, I don't know what will happen to me (a student from a poor family). I even don't have enough money to dress well, even less I need to pay for English teacher?

I really like English since my father gives me an oportunity to join English course. At that time my family's economy condition is still good. Several years from it, my economy family was crashed. Alhamdulillah now is better.

I thanks for ICT because with it I can get my dreams. My dreams become true. Even I can fly to Jakarta last month because the use of ICT. Everyday I watch so many English video telling how to improve our English. Without ICT how can we access it easily, freely? ICT, thank you very much. 

Source: My Mind 😀😃

Wednesday, May 24

"The seeking of knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim." The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) on Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 74.
It was heavy rain last night. The temperature was extremely cold. The rest of the rain still felt in this Tebing Raya Village. A far away village in Sintang district, West Kalimantan, Indonesia. It was a place where there was no lights, no electricity. A place where there was no skyscraper, no highway, and even school. A village that surrounded by notorious Melawi river and extremely great, and beautiful tropical forest.
The sky was blackish and dark. It was four in the early day. The drizzle continued to pour although not as tight as last night. Almost all of the people chose to continue their sleep.  But, me, a seventeenth years old boy, chose otherwise. I chose to wake and start to build my dream. I jumped up and headed straight to the Melawi river. I am Ahmad, a twelfth-grade student at One Roof High School in Tretung Village, Sintang. My view only focused at my small pinnace. The watercraft tethered in front of my family’s lanting, a small wood house on the riverside. The floor of my pinnace already filled with water. So, it was my duty to scoop it or the water would drain the pinnace. It just the only one vehicle that my friends and I could use when we went to school.
It took one hour to scoop it. Then I took bath, did dawn prayer, breakfast and saying goodbye to my parents. My next job then was to pick up my friends in the upper course of this river. They lived in the next door village, in Mungguk Bantok Village, and in Klakau Jaya Village. The two villages that had the same condition with my village, no electricity, no proper road or street just a simple footpath. The villages which just connected with water transportation due to the unavailability of land transportation. Although the Tretung Village, the location of the school was in lower course.
 I started to withdraw the pinnace rope engine and the adventure through this river just started. For the first time, I picked up Umar in Mungguk Bantok. He already waited in his lanting. He jumped and entered to the pinnace eagerly. The next was Chandra in his lanting too, not far from Umar’s lanting. The pinnace then fully filled with all of my friends. It got overcrowded condition again and again.
The overlay of Melawi river which covered with the cliffs that full of wilderness was a sight of our two hours journey to the school. The haze and the residual dew was hovering over the water. The river’s stream was extremely swift this morning.
“Ahmad. The stream is too swift. It is so dangerous. Please, be careful.” said Ani.
“Yes, Ani. It is not usual stream today. I hope Allah will still make us safe.” I replied.
Everybody in this pinnace looked tense. Each of them started to pray. We got tense. We forgot our talk, our chat, our laugh. I myself felt scared too. The stream was extremely swift and dangerous. The pinnace which was controlled by me could suddenly drown if something like a big rock hit this pinnace. It was heavy right now and I really watched out the steering tool. Suddenly, all of us shocked because of a loud sound.
“Oh My God!” Ani yelled.
Other friends became panic too. Our pinnace broke on the front side because of the hit. I tried to soothe them.
“We will be okay. Don’t worry guys.”
“Okay, what? We will drown immediately, Mad. Look at the floor.” said Umar fearfully.
Actually, we were not worried about the drowning. All of us are great swimmers. But, something we worried about was because of the Tapah fish. A predator fish that very malignant and dangerous. Not just Tapah fish, but also about the crocodile. And, it meant that if the pinnace broke, we could not go to school.
The situation became chaos. We were really sad. Our uniform became wet. Fortunately, someone coming.
“What happen? Why all of you looked panic? Is the pinnace get hitted?” a fisherman stood and asked us.
We were getting excited. God helped us through this uncle.
“Yes, it is. Please help us Uncle.” said Ani.
“How poor you are. Okay, come in. Let me escort all of you. To the school right?”
“Yes. Thank you very much, Uncle.”
All of us could not hide the smile. He soothed us. We started to move. Poor my pinnace. It was who knows how many times already that old pinnace become broke. It was a very dangerous adventure today. Luckily for us because today there was a kind heart person passing by and helped us. I could not imagine what would happen next if there was no one.
That problem was one of our several problems that usually happen. The nature condition was the origin thing that all of this problem happened. In the dry season, we would get the most severe problem like the death of the pinnace engine. The engine would easily death if the sand got into the engine. The solution was only to take apart of the engine and it took hours to clear the sand from the engine.
All of us willing to do all of this due to our dreams. I, myself, really wanted to make my parents smile. The poverty always would be my concern. I also wanted to bring lights to this dark village. I wanted to bring electricity and a good road to my beloved village. I wanted to bring to this village, knowledge. The village condition was so pathetic. Even my parents, they were still illiterate. It was my duty to make a revolution. I would not let the next generation felt the same condition like what we felt before. It was our duty to make the education better, so the society would get good development.

The seeking of knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim. How could we search for knowledge when we illiterate? The first order from our God too was to read. Because the knowledge was the lights. It would make our life brighter and make us away from the dark.

Thursday, May 18

The BBQ Project adalah sebuah program/projek sosial untuk membantu kaum yang membutuhan dan juga anak anak yatim. The BBQ Project terdiri dari akronim Beras, Baju, Quran, item2 yang akan dibagikan ke penerima bantuan. Kegiatan yang dilakukan The BBQ Project juga bervariasi, khusus anak yatim kami menyelenggarakan kegiatan edukatif yang menarik di panti asuhan mereka dan kami juga melakukan dakwah di Internet dan social media. Ayo ikut donasi bersama kami. Kami menerima uang, peralatan sekolah dan alat tulis, beras, tas, baju, dan lainnya. Hubungi:
Ig: @thebbqprojectt
untuk info lebih lanjut.
The BBQ Project is a social program to help the poor people and orphans. The BBQ Project itself stands for Beras (Rice), Baju (Clothes), Quran (Koran), the things that will be given to the poor and orphans. The BBQ Project also does several various activities like for the orphans, they do the educative and interactive activity and also do religious proselytizing through internet and social media. Let's join us. Let's donate. The BBQ Project accepts money, school stationaries, rice, bag, clothes and etc. Call/message:
Ig: @thebbqprojectt
for further information.

Wednesday, May 17

Sunday, May 14

Saya akui. Saya ini manusia biasa gudangnya khilaf dan dosa. Jujur aja iman saya terkadang naik turun. Bukannya tak takut azab, entah kenapa, dan saya melakukan dosa besar itu. Tapi alhamdulillah kini. Allah tak biarkan saya terus terjerumus dalam kubangan dosa itu. Allah sangat sayang pada saya.

Jika sebelumnya saya stress berat. Efek tuntutan dunia kuliah dan iman yang turun naik walhasil 3 bulanan ini saya stress menjurus ke depresi. Saya nggak nafsu makan dan bahkan nggak niat menjalani hidup. Flat2 aja datar banget, ngeluh aja tiap hari kerjaanya. Capek dan capek terus2an. Rumah dan kamar kaya kapal pecah. Alhamdulillah sekarang. Rasanya lebih membaik. Allah lagi lagi menyelamatkan saya. Saya kembali ke padanya. Dialah zat yang maha segala. Saya pasrahkan saya ikhlaskan. Lelah sekali memang mengejar dunia. Saya tau walau itu impian saya sekalipun. Sekarang saya hanya fokus untuk ibadah saja lah. Itu membuat saya lebih bahagia daripada uang 1 milyar pun. Kasih sayang dan ridho Allah lebih berharga dan tak ternilai. YaAllah. Alhamdulillah. Terimakasih.

Friday, May 12

Tuesday, May 9

Today is another tiring day. Now I believe that life is tough. Actually it's can not be compare enough to what happen in my past. It was more severe than what happen today. However, in the past, my feelings are just "Okay, keep calm, this tough day will  pass, tomorrow will come" and now, I can't be like that anymore. I just don't wanna miss even one second of my life doing useless things. I just don't wanna miss the moment. I miss my childhood already even though it was painful also.

Thursday, May 4

Alhamdulillah. Saya terbangun di waktu yang saya harapkan. Setidaknya Allah mengabulkan doa saya satu persatu. Tugas tugas saya mulai menunjukkan progress positif. Alhamdulillah. Kita ini sebenarnya hanya hambanya yang lemah dan tak berdaya. Dialah yang menjadi penolong kita, yang membuat segalanya tak kelihatan mungkin menjadi mungkin. Seperti hari ini, salah satu tugas saya sudah selesai. Meski masih banyak juga sih yang belum. Tapi saya yakin dengan niat saya ingin mengerjakannya dengan baik pasti Allah akan beri saya jalan dan kemudahan.

Wednesday, May 3

Tuesday, May 2

YaAllah. YaMujibb. Semoga saya bisa menyelesaikan semua tugas kuliah saya tepat waktu dan sebaik2nya serta mudah2an saya, shilvani dan entin teman saya kami bertiga lolos Ecomentary Competition 2017. Aamiin.

إِنَّ الدُّعَاءَ لاَ يُرَدُّ بَيْنَ الأَذَانِ وَالإِقَامَةِ فَادْعُوا

Sesungguhnya do’a yang tidak tertolak adalah do’a antara adzan dan iqomah, maka berdo’alah (kala itu).” (HR. Ahmad 3/155. Syaikh Syu’aib Al Arnauth mengatakan bahwa sanad hadits ini shahih)

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Monday, May 1

Saya alhamdulillah libur kuliah + libur kerja di hari buruh ini. Nikmat banget. Namun saya habiskan waktu hanya untuk istirahat. Karena saya seharian bolak balik toilet, diare.

Btw. Saya ini suka banget nonton sitkom. Terutama sitkom yang saat ini saya ikuti, sitkom yang sukses bikin saya ketawa ketiwi ngakak, Ok-Jek. Aneh juga sih, saya hobi banget nonton ini sitkom, tapi adek saya di sebelah saya biasa aja, malah nggak ketawa sama sekali. Wkwkwkw. Sama seperti ketika salah satu dosen saya memberikan cerita lucu, dan you know what? Di kelas, cuma saya sendiri yang ngakak ketawa. Dan baru beberapa menit kemudian baru lah seisi kelas riuh.

Eh back to the main topic, saya alhamdulillah bisa ngerasain pergi ke Jakarta setelah beberapa belas tahun meninggalkannya. Dan saya ngojek online. Dan memang ngojek nggak seindah di Ok-Jek. Di Ok-Jek driver nya model baik dan ganteng dan ramah macam Seno atau Firman. Hahaha. Saya. Pertama kalinya ngojek pake Gr*b dan itu nyasar alias tersesat. Mana drivernye model macam itu lgi, nggak ada ramah2nya. Waktu tersesat itu. Rasanya saya mau nangis karena bingung. Jakarta itu beda banget sama pontianak. So complicated pokoknya. Ternyata gitu ya ngojek online. Boros banget kalau ngojek online sebenarnya, meskipun praktis sih. Di Jakarta, saya sedikit terkejut juga, banyak bener tukang ojeknya. Masalahnya saya bisa ngomong gitu karena seragam hijau hijau, oren itu, banyak banget berseliweran di jalan.